Frustration and solving problems in the shower

I’m really wary of how dangerous it is to my productivity to write blog posts every day, but there’s a reason I don’t stop–which is because it only looks/feels dangerous. As leery as I am of sitting down and writing for two hours every day like this, I know that if I denied myself the time to swap out what I’m thinking, I’d have a lot fewer ideas for solutions.

I am just DYING for a cofounder with a real working knowledge of Python. I really like programming… but I don’t feel like I’ve ever gotten to a point where I really, truly understood it, and I’ve been absolutely unable to find a teacher, and the Internet isn’t as useful as one might think if you don’t know the right questions to ask, or the right way to phrase the questions you have.

I’ve run into this sort of problem before, and tried to fix it for other people (see the post “How I Learned Linux”). I guess it’s inevitable that I’ll write “How I Learned Python” and include all the stuff I’m bashing my head against now.

And it’s really stupid stuff. Like, I know full well that anyone who’d written an actual application (I don’t mean little scripts or toy programs) would be able to answer my questions in an instant if they were standing over my shoulder. [Edit: actually, they wouldn’t; my problem was more obscure than I thought.] Alas, there is no one standing over my shoulder; alas, I don’t know if I can describe my problems.

I think I might need to go trawling through some Python source of an existing program. The trick is finding an example that shows me what I need… argh.

This is one of the things I like least about living in Iowa. I live in a fairly mellow little city where the people are friendly and the Oriental food is excellent. But it’s not really a college town; we’re short on programmers. Oddly enough, I’m kind of missing a few guys I knew in high school who would have made really good cofounders. I wonder where they are now. Probably MIT, they were really smart programmers. (I had crushes on both at different points; it didn’t hurt that one was really physically attractive and the other was adorably nerdy.) Eli, Gordon, drop me a line if you’re reading this.

The problem I’m having right now–although it isn’t by any means the only one I’ve come across or the only one I’ll have, or even the only one I’m having now–is a dumb little OOP-type issue.

When this one button is pressed, I need other widgets to react to it. I have methods in those widgets’ classes that provide the reaction instructions, but one of their required parameters is an instance of the class they’re in.

I think the problem I’m facing is that the application is re-rendering the widgets that I need names for every time they’re constructed, and I don’t need it to do that. I think maybe there’s a way to do this with Kivy’s ObjectProperty stuff, but I haven’t gotten it to do that yet. I’m sure I’ve seen it before… but I don’t remember where or how. I think it was the Kivy book, but I might be wrong.

Actually, it’s not a dumb OOP issue. It’s a Kivy issue, and I can forgive myself for not knowing what I’m doing. In Python you’d be spelling things out manually and you’d have the objects available to pass. I think this is why I was having trouble finding Python source examples.

tfw you need to have a little more faith in yourself

And once again, having written out a blog post helped me solve the problem. That and taking a shower in the middle of writing this. It took me a lot longer to write this than it looks like; I spent a lot more time chasing thoughts in circles than typing.

To be honest, I was able to get the app to do what I wanted already, because of the lack of syntactic salt in Kivy. But the solution was really klugey and I didn’t like it [1], and I’ve always been a perfectionist since I was a little kid. The way I forced the app to do what I wanted blurred the lines between the Kivy and the Python code too much for my liking.

But I appreciate that Kivy gives the freedom to do stuff like that anyway; it really helps test things. I was actually going to give up on this for now and move on, but then I remembered the ObjectProperty thing in the shower.

This is still way more fulfilling than the noddy little programs from school. I’m kind of brain-tired and frustrated, but I sprang back from demoralized within an hour or so. School programs and (I’ll assume) work programs don’t have this factor that brings me back from demoralized. This is why I want to start a startup.

I guess the lesson here is that I need to be a little easier on myself. I mean, I’m an 18-year-old girl going into my second year of college. It’d probably be my last semester if I’d taken classes this summer, and even so I’ll probably graduate before I turn 19. I shouldn’t doubt my intelligence.

I probably shouldn’t be so hard on myself about my pace, either. I know from empirical evidence that when it comes to stuff like this, I’m a persistent little snot. (On multiple occasions, this was to the frustration of school officials.) I don’t mind changing my approach if something isn’t working, but if I want to do something, there’s not a lot that can stop me. I never let high school tame me. I tried to tame it instead, and when it stubbornly resisted, I took the advantages I could from it (about $2000 of free college, I think) and then left.

But, arrrrggggghhhhh. I want to go faster. There are features I want to implement. Grr.

I’ve been fighting this thing all afternoon. It’s time to take a break and maybe get some food… I don’t think I’ve eaten for five or six hours, so dinner and a few rounds of 2048 or something are in order.

—————————

[1] I have no idea where my sense of design in programs came from. Certainly not experience. I do know that I can’t remember anything I’ve ever written under Windows has triggered its appeal switch (probably because those programs were all for class and most were written in Visual Studio).

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